SKULL THEFT
Best Punk Band of the Decade
hey-the other day I listened to the same song 73 times pissed on my roomate’s banana ate 3 leaves rolled around on tacks-don’t know why you never will don’t know why you never will-I am the ear you are the mmmmmmmmouth I am the ear you are the mmmmmmmm-no no no no no no year after year I am the ear I am the ear I am the ear
Best Film of 2009
After intensely deliberating with myself for like 5 minutes, MOON took the cake over Inglorious Basterds, only because I caught myself feeling the feeling of deliberating with myself, which is a sort of poignant allegory for MOON itself, which sees Sam Rockwell giving his best performance (ever) as a lone astronaut stuck on the boringass moon, talking to himself. Like the best sci-fis, the film is deliberately humane, or strives towards deep human pathos by setting that pathos into motion within a broken, draconian machine world. Are you following me? This film is essentially about what humans need. Not only is the film masterfully paced by Duncan Jones — but Rockwell and Spacey (who plays a primitive versioning of Hal 9000) play off each other in a ominous, almost musical way that makes you feel INSANE. It’s the most acutely anti-psychedelic take on the space station fable I can think of. And although I welled up during Basterds (which goes a long way towards taking Best honors) I thought about MOON for weeks after.
Best Music of 2009
The mysterious techno duo is one of my all time favorite pop music archetypes, ie. The Orb (is to Venom as Spiderman is to The Pod), The Chemical Brothers, Daft Punk etc.) and no other band in recent memory has lived up to the reverence of the position the way Gatekeeper did in 2009. Gatekeeper is the dreamshot of Aaron David Ross and Matthew Arkell, the CEOS of Visionrhythm INC. and the inventors of the 7 mile-long tom roll. Together they create DIY OSTs to the MATRIX 4; black exponential vistas, roman pools of magma, beheadings, and the melancholy of a cybernetic baroness awaits you.
Most Memorable Quote of 2009
“He’s relaxed in his dreamworld like Wagner”
-Mike Powell, on Slick Rick’s post-incarceration record The Ruler’s Back
“as in the backside of the ruler, where nothing can be measured”
Most Inspirational Screw Jam of 2009
2009 will be remembered for the rise of cuteNb and autocute;
the universe’s way of coping with Brokencyde. This is how Entropy works.
Best Tube of 2009
hey shorty where you at where you going
can i see you later
cause I can’t see you; busy right now
these 3 lines of RAP epitomized 2009 for post-Marxist
heads and stressy people alike.
Best WWW of 2009
http://andrapidshareforall.tumblr.com/
Somebody had to take a stand for what’s right!!
